Kepa left this morning.
You would think that since our relationship was mostly long distance to begin with that I would be used to being separated. But I’m not. It hurts each time, whether I have to wait 5 months to see him again or just a week.
Our one year anniversary together is coming up next month and in that year we will have only physically spent three months together. Three out of twelve months. That’s crazy.
![Video Chat <3 [265/365]](http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2748/4104994114_27d1a0859e.jpg)
This photo sums up our long distance relationship...
The key to a long distance relationship is communication. I actually think I was lucky to have our relationship begin the way it did because it forced us to communicate more than other couples. When all you have is words, you make use of them. I feel like the fact that we talked so much in the beginning created a very strong foundation for our relationship. I feel like I know Kepa better than anyone else and he most definitely knows me better than anyone else. I’m very grateful that we turned something that could have been a problem for our relationship into a strength.
But despite the positive communication the long distance created, it still sucks to be apart when you are in love.
Luckily this time it’s only one week. Next time it might be a couple months (between my visa running out and the wedding). Either way, it makes me grateful for the time we have and will spend together. It’s easy to take for granted something as simple as just being in the same place, but I will try my hardest to never do that.
{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }
My husband I had did the long distance thing for the entirety of our dating and engagement relationship , and while it was difficult and sometimes made me miserable because I wanted to just BE with him, it was worth it.
I completely agree with what you said about communication. Because the phone/email was all we had, we used it a LOT. (I’m so glad we both were on the same phone carrier because we racked up ridiculous minutes on our phones!). It helped us talk about so many things and get to know each other on a deeper level, and I treasured all those conversations. And it makes the fact that I get to see him every day now that much sweeter!
After a few VERY expensive phone bills I realized phone calls and texts were not an option. So we used direct messages on twitter as our texts and video chats as our phone calls. It worked pretty well and I definitely treasured every single communication and planned a lot around them.
I’m so glad you guys are together and happily married now. ;)
Yeah, isn’t it amazing how it actually physically hurts? Tim and I were long-distance from the start too, although not as long distance as you and Kepa (in fact, I don’t think it could get any longer than the U.S. to N.Z.!). And it was hard and yes communication is key…and if you’ve got that, then you’ve got a huge component of what makes a relationship really work…so YAY for communication! You’ve also got the mutual respect thing going (also HUGE) and the fun thing…so basically, you guys are good to go ;-)
Hehe, yep, you summed us up well! :)
Hunni and I spent a summer apart for internships and it helped us grow closer than the time we spent together before. We shared stories and goofy little things because we couldn’t just go to the movies. I missed him terribly but it helped us grow.
You and Kepa are so strong already because you had to grow long before you could even hold his hand. And those memories will sustain you through the tough times as you adjust through life.
Congrats again and praying for you as you make it through this week…because you will make it through and be with your love shortly.
It definitely has to be the right person. Like you, I began my current LDR (I’ve had three, but the first two I met in person first) online. I never met him. Until I did, this past June. He spent three weeks here. And while talking and getting to know each other was romantic and old school (like Charles Dickens writing letters, we’d say), it doesn’t quite compare to the actual meeting. I even said, almost word for word, to my Mum: “I was lucky to have our relationship begin the way it did because it forced us to communicate more than other couples.”
Please, please, remember how lucky you are to have found your “one” and still been into him when you met him. It doesn’t always happen. It hasn’t happened to me; we clicked okay, but all the plans we made, the things we said we wanted, they have just shattered over the last month. And now I’m left here, trying to figure out whether it’s me and he’s over there thinking nothing’s wrong. We spent sixteen months getting to know each other, five months of those in the relationship, one month physically together, and now at month eighteen I hate getting texts. (There’s a whole thing with my dream career taking off and he’s just stuck in place – we’re both finishing up university; and different culture ideals – English worrier and Australian carefree girl. Other stories though.)
It isn’t hard to do long distance when it’s the right person. And I am SO SO happy you found that.
Yes, sorry about that, it did turn into a downer reply. I just wanted you to know that I am ecstatic for you and Kepa, and can not wait to see this magical moment in your lives unfold. :D
It’s okay. Sometimes things work out and sometimes they don’t. I’m really sorry that your relationship took that turn and you aren’t happy anymore. It’s true that the real life/physical has to match up with everything you’ve talked about beforehand if you’re meeting someone from online. I’m lucky that happened, but for a lot of people it doesn’t. I hope things work out for you in the best way possible.
Thank you for your love and support and enthusiasm! Hehe. ;)
Do you get sick of it when I say, I’m so happy for you? Because I just always have to say it. :) Not everyone can pull off long-distance relationships. My husband and I lived together for a few months when we were dating, then he joined the Navy, and we’ve pretty much been long-distance ever since, seeing each other just a few weeks every few months. It gets hard at times of course, but you make it work. And you’re exactly right – it’s not the distance, it’s the relationship. It always comes down to you and him and what you have to do for each other to make it all work… and if it’s the right person, you come to realize that you don’t have to work all that hard at it.
So glad it’s only a week for you now! Have fun, Mary dear!
I will never get sick of that! I am glad you are happy for me! :)
The whole long distance thing is definitely tough, but also doable, and for the right person, totally worth it in the end! My wife went to college in another state, so for 3 of the first 4 years we were dating, we were apart pretty much all during the school year (aside from the breaks she would come home for, like Christmas and spring break).
As you said, communication is key. Unfortunately for us, this was in the days before Skype, so we talked on the phone a LOT during those years.
Good luck to both of you, if you’ve made it this far, you’re golden :)
Unfortunately I can say that I understand “long distance love”. Hubs is in the military… But you are absolutely right that it CAN work and IS worth it! Being apart just makes the reunion sweeter!
Mrs. O
http://itsmylifeandmyjourney.blogspot.com